Matchmakers
by TwilightForever3220
Summary: Bella and Edward meet on a matchmaking show. Will they pass by each other or will love bloom between them? Ratings may change between M and T.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All Twilight stuff is the goddess, Stephenie Meyer's. No copyright infringement intended.

Chapter One:

BPOV:

The music blasted through the speakers welcoming another suitor that wants our hand. There are 24 women onstage-wait, let me explain to this from the beginning. And no, I'm not starting at the creation of Adam and Eve.

My name is Isabella Marie Swan but you can just call me Bella. I'm 22 years old and my best friends are Alice Brandon and Rosalie Hale. Since I grew up as an only child and Rose and Ali became my unofficial sisters. We met in kindergarten and immediately bounded. We'd do anything for each other with no questions asked just because we trust each other that much. My father is Charlie Swan and my mother's Renee _Dwyer_. They split up years ago because Renee felt too tightly bounded to Charlie. She wanted to be "free"_._ The truth was that she was fucking this gardener that Charlie hired because he's barely home as the Chief Swan of the little town Forks and he didn't want Renee to overextend herself. Look at that bitch now, all happy and shit. Hopefully she rots in hell.

As I grew older, Rose, Alice and I became closer than before. They've always set me up on dates but those boys all want women for one thing-sex. I want someone that is educated and generous and beautiful. Someone that'll treat me like a queen. I slowly distanced myself from society- and no- I wasn't in depression, and focused on my studies. Rose and Alice were concerned for me and that's why we are all signed up for the show _Matchmakers._

We've all been here for about a week and I already have three "suitors". They were Aro Volturi, James Tracker, and Tyler Crowley. Disgusting little bastards I tell you, and I turned all of them down. The expression they had on when I denied them was hilarious. I almost died from it.

Now I'm on a stage with 21 disgusting bimbos that are looking for an old, rich guy. I wouldn't be surprised if he was dead the next day. As the music continued on, I saw Tanya sneer at me. I am so goddamn tired of her childish behavior that I have decided to treat her as one.

That's why I flipped her the bird and chuckled as I watched her face contort with anger.

It was HALARIOUS!

"Hello. My name is Jasper Whitlock. I'm from Texas and I'm 25 years old." An accented voice broke me out of my internal musing. Guessing from what this Jasper guy told everyone, he has a southern accent. Pretty hot if you ask me.

Jasper has honey colored hair that waved to his acute jaw line. He also had a constant smile which tugged at his lips that crinkled up his sparkling blue eyes. Even from my place on the stage, I can feel the relaxing and laidback atmosphere that just surrounds him. Alice would be so perfect for him.

As he finished his little introduction, his eyes swept through us and stopped at Alice. The look on both of their faces was filled with lust and want. I bet you a million dollars that if _Jasper _chooses Alice, they would both go at it like bunnies before they leave this place.

One of the rules on _Matchmaker _is to give each contestant 5 minutes to woo one of his preferred ladies, and Jasper didn't waste a second.

In the end every one of us ladies/sluts had learned that Jasper plays the guitar and have a great salary to support his "chosen one". I bet the latter is the only piece of information Tanya, Lauren, and Victoria had heard. Now we ladies have the chance to turn off our lights if we feel that we don't match up to the man onstage. Rose, Angela, Jessica (I'm quite surprised!), Jane, Heidi, and I were the only people that turned off our lights. Tanya, her gang, and Alice have theirs on.

Since we had already chosen whether or not we wanted to give him a chance, it's now Jasper's turn to pick his desired lady. And with no hesitation, he called out clearly: "Alice Brandon". I saw Alice huff out a sigh of relief. I chuckled. How could Jasper not pick her? Alice is way too insecure of herself sometimes.

Ali hurled herself at Jasper with her arms wide open and Jasper easily caught her. Everyone clapped for the pair's success. Tanya, of course gave Alice the stink eye.

She can go fuck herself.

Alice and Jasper cuddled onstage as if no one was there except themselves in their own little world and soon left the stage. I rolled my head around, popping a few bones in the process and shifted my legs. I don't know how long I can stand here anymore.

Mike stood up because it was so hard (note sarcasm) and announced, "Thank you for watching _Matchmakers_ with us! Don't leave, 'cause we'll be right back". Everyone let out a sigh. Finally! A goddamned commercial break!

A/N: Just to clear everything up:

Mary Alice Brandon- 22 years old

Rosalie Lillian Hale-24 years old

Isabella Marie Swan- 22 years old

Jasper Whitlock- 24 years old

Edward Anthony Masen Cullen- 24 years old

Emmett McCarty ?- 27 years old

Question for you guys: Should I make Emmett, Edward's brother or just a McCarty? REVIEW!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: All Twilight stuff is the goddess, Stephenie Meyer's. No copyright infringement intended.

Chapter Two:

EPOV:

My hands are sweating and I run my hands through my tangled hair again. Maybe I should have listened to Esme about the hair spray. Shit! I paced across the red room with gold trim wearing a hole into the floor. I briskly walked over to the full length mirror propped up by the door and tried to tame it. Oh well, some ladies think that it looks like sex hair. I continued combing my hand in my hair again.

"Bro, really, stop. You're even giving me those jittery nerves." Emmett said as he slapped my hand away. "All you need to do is to flash those ladies a" he quoted with his fingers, "pansy dropping smile." He paused. "Just keep away from my Rosie though."

His Rosie? So confident Emmett.

I couldn't help but to annoy and make him anxious too, so I said:

"_Your_ Rosie? How do you even know she wants you?"

As soon as I finished, his eyes bulged out and his facial expression turned comical. It looked like he sucked a lemon!

He was speechless for a minute but finally sputtered out a quick 'I hate you!'.

I chuckled. At least that rid me of some anxiousness.

*******Matchmakers********

My family had always said that I didn't have much of a social life. Emmett and Jasper had said without shame that I needed to get laid more. Of course, Esme, my mother, and Carlisle, my father, worded it nicer.

Emmett Cullen is my brother, but Jasper isn't. Mom became infertile after giving birth to Emmett and I for some reason and our parents decided to adopt for one more child. They were both aiming for a daughter but chose Jasper after they saw how well Em, Jazz, and I bonded.

I remembered that when we just went to the orphanage shelter, I was only 8 years old, Emmett was 11. Emmett and I leaped right out of the car and rushed into the orphanage. Esme and Carlisle headed throughout the house to look around. As Em and I walked throughout the house I spotted this room filled with toys. All the other kids must had left because of my parents. Then I spotted one kid playing on a ping pong table and setting up what looked like a battlefield. Emmett, VERY mischievous at that time, swatted his fat hand and destroyed the battlefield.

The room became silent. Mostly due to the unknown kid's cool glare at Emmett.

Suddenly, the kid bonked Emmett on the head and kicked him in the groin. Damn. That must had hurt a lot thinking back. I needed to help Emmett because we are loyal and soon we all started rough housing each other.

Carlisle and Esme found all of us with the unknown kid's foot in my mouth, Emmett in a headlock and the kid getting wedgies. And that's on how we bonded.

Carlisle and Esme took us into another room to discuss who we want to bring back home and we all soon agreed on Jasper. Everyone considered Jasper to be our brother/ son, not someone from an orphanage.

But anyways, my family urged me to go on that matchmaking show they always watched. Em and Jazz are going and they probably already have their weddings planned out with those chicks called Alice Brandon and Rosebud Hale- or was it Rosalie? Who cared? Well, except Emmett, no one else did.

I was perfectly fine by myself for almost two weeks until those two dicks urged me to look on the matchmaking website to find my "soul mate". Quoting Jazzy Poo here. I knew my family only wanted the best for me so I tried to get them out of their denial by signing up and showing no one there is for me. After all, what decent girl would go on that show and whore herself out?

I logged onto the matchmaking website and as I glanced through those toothpick thin model wannabes, I saw a beautiful brunette. I swear to Christ there was a neon sign that lit up the whole page next to her. Even thought the picture wasn't the best quality I can still make out that the Goddess, wait-I took a look at her name-Isabella Swan was exquisite. Isabella has dark brown hair with streaks of caramel that tumbled to her tiny waist. Her skin was creamy and looked delectable. I just want to suck on it.

I desired her immediately.

That's why I'm here with Jasper and Emmett at the backstage of _Matchmakers._ Trying our luck with the girls.

A/N: Sorry I couldn't update sooner. I got food poisoning from a damned tomato! It used to be my favorite fruit…. REVIEW PLEASE!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: All Twilight stuff is the goddess, Stephenie Meyer's. No copyright infringement intended.

Chapter Three:

BPOV:

Mike, the host of _**Matchmakers**_announced a commercial break. I quickly ran across the stage to try to catch up with Rosalie and Angela. We found Tanya and her "gang" huddling around a corner like they are having an important meeting, giving Alice the evil eye. That little bitch is just jealous and doesn't want satisfaction for anyone but herself.

Rose caught my eye as I'm approaching the successful pair. I winked at her and she smirked, Rose will always support me. She's probably going to be the first one I'll call to hide a dead body if I committed a murder.

As I walked over to Alice to congratulate her success, I "accidently" shoulder bumped Tanya, causing the she devil to trip on her insanely high heels. Victoria tried to help Tanya keep her balance but instead, she ripped out chunks of Tanya's extensions. Now, half of her head's hair is down to her shoulders and the other half looks like a camel chewed on it.

Have fun looking for a man like that.

Tanya and Victoria started bitch fighting and I pranced over to Alice, now that my mood is better. I came just in time to hear Rosalie deliver her threat to Jasper, "-If you EVER hurt Ally, I will rip off your skin and make a bag out of it and then sell it on EBay. Understood?"

"Yea, I second that", I piped up out of nowhere, "And I will do so much more damage than Rose if hurt one single fucking hair on Ally."

Jasper looked like he's going to start shitting bricks anytime soon.

"So," I started again, "my dear little innocent Alice is finally grown up." I cried as I wiped away a drop of fake tear on my cheek.

"Not innocent at all" coughed Rose. Alice glared at her and she smiled back angelically.

"Rose, you need to look at who's talking." Alice retorted back. "And as for Bella, I'm the one who bought you the Kama Sultra book that you read for a whole fucking month, and I _**still**_ think you're the most innocent of the group." Alice finished with a smirk.

"You little bitch." I chuckled.

Alice playfully shoved me and blew me a raspberry. My little one is so grown up and mature.

"Alice dear, we need to get to our hotel now." Jasper whispered into her ear, interrupting her playful banter.

Alice giggled and said loudly, "Jazzy and I are retreating now. Best of luck!" She did as a matter of fact, catch Tanya's sneer and returned that with a little grab to Jasper's crotch. Jasper squeaked and tensed up. As she skipped away, Jasper approached Rosalie and me.

"You better get fucking used to that. Alice is **really** handsy." I whispered.

"I love her already. Plus I know what I have signed up for."He shrugged. "I came just to tell you guys good luck. Edward and Emmett are coming today too and they're the best people you will ever meet. You'll know who they are when you see them." Jasper paused for a second. "Don't tell them I said that though. They'll call a pussy girl."

Right after Jasper finished talking, he went after Alice and picked her up. Alice leaned back and Jasper leaned forward. They look absolutely adorable together.

*******Matchmakers*******

"Welcome back to _**Matchmakers**_ with now only **23** beautiful, available ladies." Mike announced. "The next suitor will be….." a drum roll started. "Emmett Cullen!"

A hunky guy whom I assume is the Emmett, Jasper was talking about strutted onto the stage confidently and had a smile on his face. If you looked really close, you can see the tiny dimples imbedded into his skin. He has curly, short hair and brown eyes twinkling with mischief. Emmett's body is built very structured and muscular. This is what you would call a human teddy bear on steroids.

Rosalie's eyes were glued to Emmett for the entire show, and Emmett, Rosalie. Everyone had learned that Emmett visits the gym frequently, which explains those bulging muscles, plays pranks that had almost got him expelled, and has no mouth filter.

In the end, he eventually chose Rosalie-whoa! So surprising! -and ran to where Rose stood. He carried her across the stage starting with bridal style, but somehow ended up with him carrying Rose over his shoulder like some cavemen would do.

When Emmett finally exited, Mike began his speech again. "Jasper, as we saw, was a true Southern gentleman, and Emmett is a true New Yorker." He chuckled. "But just what, will the next contestant be like?" The theme song started again. Everyone in the audience cringed forward to catch a glimpse of the next suitor. "I announce you ladies and gentlemen, Edward Cullen!"

The first thing I saw was a flash of bronze and a pair of piercing emerald green eyes.

Holy shit! It feels like the fucking Nile River comes from my pussy!

**A/N: Hope ya'll like this chappy. REVIEWS will make my fucking day. *muah***


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